INTIMACY COACHING FOR COUPLES

BRING INTIMACY & DESIRE BACK

couple kissing intimately in sex therapy session

INTO YOUR RELATIONSHIP

Sex therapist Ilil Lunkry
i’m here for you.

My life’s work is helping people connect through intimacy and find lasting fulfilment in their relationship.

My name is Ilil Lunkry and I am an Intimacy & Relationship Coach and a Sexologist who specialises in helping couples experience more pleasure and fulfilment – not just during sex, but in every part of their relationship.

Somatic Sexologist (American Board of Sexology Certified)
Certified Sexological Bodyworker (
SSEAA registered)
Sex & Relationship Coach (
Somatica® Certified)
Somatic Sexologists Aoteara Registered Practitioner
Certified Youth Sex Educator
Certificate in Working with Vaginismus (AASECT)

Appointments offered online worldwide or in-person in Nelson, New Zealand.

The quality of your relationship impacts the quality of your life.

I can help you and your partner to:

Experience more pleasure together

  • Reawaken desire and intimacy in a sexless relationships.

  • Bridge the gap between different levels of desire.

  • Expand your sexual menu and bring novelty and playfulness into the bedroom.

  • Explore your fantasies with each other.

  • Try new things like BDSM, role play and more while ensuring you both feel safe and seen.

  • Become a better lover to each other, build confidence and learn new lovemaking skills.

  • Work together through sexual challenges such as low libido, pain during sex, erectile dysfunctions, premature ejaculation, difficulty to orgasm and other issues.

Build a resilient relationship

  • Develop secure attachment and build a healthy, long-lasting relationship.

  • Understand and communicate your needs, desires and boundaries. 

  • Learn to repair and resolve underlying resentment and tension.

  • Understand each other’s love languages and attachment styles.

  • Develop communication skills for discussing sensitive topics without blame and shame.

  • Navigate non-monogamy or other relationship structures.

  • Reconnect after major life changes such as children, grief, or trauma.

  • Rebuild trust after infidelity.

Whatever you’re experiencing, I promise that there is a way to work through it.

So few of us have the knowledge or the tools we need to build strong, fulfilling and long-lasting love – because we’ve never been taught how to.

It’s time to change that.

WHAT IS INTIMACY COACHING? 

WHAT TO EXPECT

Our sessions together will combine deep conversations and educational elements with hands-on practice. We will explore what both partners are experiencing and identify your growing edges. Guided by your desires and intentions, we’ll take practical steps towards making your ideal relationship a reality.

With a strong focus on experiential learning, my approach is radically different from conventional talk therapy. If you were taking a dance class, you wouldn’t expect to learn by reading a book or talking about dance – you would practise together to learn the moves. The same is true for intimacy; to learn, talking is not enough – you must do.

You and your partner will be invited to practise research-backed exercises, all tailored to your specific needs, while I provide you with real-time guidance and feedback in a safe and supportive environment. The skills you’ll learn will not only help you bring about lasting shifts in your intimate relationship, but can transform your experience of life.

Black and white photo of a couple close together, eyes closed, with one person whispering to the other.
ABOUT ME

WHY WORK WITH ME

As a Certified Sexologist and Somatica® Sex and Relationship Coach, I bring a unique, holistic approach to my practice, drawing on a wide range of advanced therapeutic methods in the field of couples and sexuality coaching. 

As a warm, supportive, and deeply empathetic person, I show up as my authentic self in every session, creating a positive, encouraging atmosphere for couples to connect. My sessions are a judgement-free space where every person, and every relationship structure, is welcomed and celebrated, just as they are.  

I’ve worked extensively with couples and individuals of all ages, genders, sexual identities and relationship dynamics. Exploring intimate topics can be challenging, and I am committed to creating a comfortable space for everyone to express themselves openly and honestly without shame.

Somatic Sexologist (American Board of Sexology Certified)
Certified Sexological Bodyworker (SSEAA registered)
Sex & Relationship Coach (Somatica® Certified)
Certified Youth Sex Educator
Certificate in Working with Vaginismus (AASECT)

Appointments offered online worldwide or in-person in Nelson, New Zealand.

Black and white image of a person sitting on an ornate chair, smiling, against a textured metal wall.

TESTIMONIALS

★★★★★

“Working with Ilil literally changed my life”

Working with Ilil literally changed my life. I lived for years in a sexless marriage. After only a few sessions with Ilil, things have progressed radically for me and my wife.  Last night we used what we learned in sessions, and my wife just couldn't get enough of me, can you believe it? 15 minutes after we made love she came back for more. That never happened before. I feel like I’m alive again.
Thank you!

- George

★★★★★

“We are in a totally different place now”

My husband and I were at a dead end when we turned to Ilil’s help, and I'm so glad we chose to work with her. She helped us see each other in an all new way, to actually understand each other's experience with empathy and compassion, and to find practical and doable solutions . We were able to regain trust in each other and in our relationship. We are in a totally different place now,  much happier and secure with each other.

- Tristen & Loren

INVEST IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP

INTIMACY COACHING PACKAGES

I offer couple’s intimacy coaching online via Zoom and in-person in Nelson, New Zealand for people of all genders, sexual identities or relationship dynamics.

One-Off Couple’s Coaching Session

1 x 90 minute session
Online or in-person in Nelson, NZ

$180 NZD

3-Pack of Couple’s Coaching Sessions

3 x 90 minute session
Online or in-person in Nelson, NZ

$540 NZD
$495 NZD – you save $45

5-Pack of Couple’s Coaching Sessions

5 x 90 minute session
Online or in-person in Nelson, NZ

$900 NZD
$750 NZD – you save $150

Questions? I’m here for you.

ARE YOU READY TO BEGIN?

ENQUIRE NOW

Ready to take the first step towards a healthier and more fulfilling connection? Contact me today by filling out the form below to enquire about my coaching services and schedule your free 15 minute consultation.